On September 16, a Threads message from a new mother started trending online, not due to its polished nature, but because of its raw, heartfelt sincerity.
“I just need to scream into the void for a second…” expressed Kara Dellisanti Jordahl (@kddellis). “I am 10 months postpartum as a first-time mom, I have no idea who the hell I am anymore, our finances are a wreck, my husband and I are two ships in the night who fight more than we connect… I feel so completely alone, and there are days I just feel like everybody and everything would be better if I was not here. Everything feels 1 million times harder than it should be and every day just feels like I am fighting to stay above water. Kthx.”
The void became a village
Kara’s openness struck a chord with many—a reminder that sharing what seems like a solitary plea often resonates with other mothers grappling with similar feelings. Within hours, her comments section became inundated with support, empathy, and insight from hundreds of mothers, many of whom were previously unknown to her.
When a mother responds with “me too,” it illustrates that someone else has traveled through similar challenges. Such words can help turn isolation into connection.
“Don’t underestimate how hard the first year of motherhood is. Be kind to yourself. You are doing a great job and it will get easier soon.” — @charitykamla
“Don’t be embarrassed and know there’s resources and help. You owe it to yourself and baby to reach out. Imagine the worst!!! It’s never a bad thing to ask for help. You got this. Hugs and prayers.” — @miss_dee_robinson
“That is exactly the month after my first baby when I went on Zoloft and found an amazing, wise, therapist that I saw for the next 13 years. Such a hard time. Go easy on yourself. Hopefully you can find some help. ❤️” — @jacquelinesella
Related: Cardi B opened up about prenatal depression—and she’s helping moms feel less alone
The quiet crisis of postpartum loneliness
Postpartum loneliness often flies under the radar, yet it’s one of the most common hurdles encountered by new mothers. As the initial wave of visitors fades away, many parents find themselves awake alone at 2 a.m., caring for a baby while feeling unseen.
According to the CDC, around 13% of women who recently gave birth experience signs of postpartum depression, and research from StatPearls estimates that 1 in 7 parents will face perinatal depression in the first year. Experts believe that hormonal shifts, sleep deprivation, and modern isolation—often raising children without nearby family and community—contribute to emotional distress.
In a culture that celebrates multitasking, mothers frequently hide their challenges to maintain an image of gratitude or capability. Acknowledging loneliness can be transformative; it shifts private suffering into a shared experience—and that recognition might be the first step toward fostering connection, care, and recovery.
The gap between expectation and reality
As per Postpartum Support International, perinatal mood and anxiety disorders are more widespread than many realize, yet stigma and lofty expectations often prevent mothers from seeking help.
Experts assert that those initial months of motherhood can feel like an emotional tug-of-war between joy and fatigue, with many women feeling pressured to showcase endless appreciation even while they are utterly worn out.
Research suggests that the gap between what is expected and what is experienced can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy or isolation among new mothers, even though these emotions are a normal part of postpartum adjustment.
How to find your footing again
If Kara’s narrative resonates with you, know that you’re not alone—and there are ways to ease the path ahead. Recovering from postpartum loneliness doesn’t necessitate major changes; it can start with small, feasible actions that reinforce to your mind and body that you’re not by yourself.
1. Reach out before you’re ready.
Text a friend, connect with another mother online, or express your feelings to your OB or pediatrician. You don’t need to articulate everything perfectly—just begin the dialogue.
2. Rebuild rest in tiny doses.
Even brief stretches of uninterrupted sleep or a soothing 10-minute walk can help reset your nervous system. Rest is not just a luxury; it’s essential for recovery.
3. Create one moment of connection a day.
Whether it’s grabbing coffee with another mom, joining a postpartum support group, or simply commenting “me too” on a post, fostering connections can help alleviate the burden of isolation.
4. Ask for help like it’s normal—because it is.
Reaching out to family, friends, therapists, or online support groups is valuable. You shouldn’t have to wait until you’re overwhelmed to seek assistance.
5. Keep resources handy.
If you’re feeling distressed, Postpartum Support International offers a free helpline and online support groups for new parents. Consulting with a trained counselor can steer you toward practical next steps tailored to your situation.
Taking care of yourself is an integral part of motherhood. Every act of rest, care, or transparency enhances your ability to be present for both yourself and your child.
Finding your own version of support
If you relate to Kara’s experiences, remember this: asking for help is not a weakness; it’s a critical means of survival. Whether your “village” is online, found through therapy, or nurtured one coffee meeting at a time, you deserve it. At times, the most courageous action a mother can take is to gently call out into the void and hope for a response.
Source:
StatPearls. 2025. “Perinatal Depression.”
