It can occur to anyone: you’re engrossed in your work, deeply involved in a task, and then abruptly, you find yourself gazing blankly at the wall. How long has it been? Your dry eyes may indicate that quite a bit of time has passed. Or perhaps it strikes you once you’ve managed to tuck your kids in after a long day, collapsing onto the couch and staring up at the ceiling, utterly drained. If you’re a parent in 2025, this sentiment is all too familiar—your nervous system is likely on high alert many days.
You might be asking yourself, “Why do I zone out like this?” Don’t worry; it’s actually your brain’s method of hitting pause to handle the chaos of everyday life.
Why Staring at the Wall Feels So Good
Those moments of staring at an empty wall aren’t indicative of laziness or procrastination—experts indicate they play an essential role.
“Consider it your nervous system’s emergency brake,” says Rod Mitchell, MC, a Calgary-based registered psychologist. “When we zone out during periods of stress, it’s a protective dissociation mechanism. It’s your brain’s way of suggesting ‘Let’s go into autopilot until things calm down.’ This disconnect happens when your nervous system feels overwhelmed, effectively distancing you from sensory overload—a survival strategy, not a sign of failure.”
Indeed, a brief moment of disconnection can be your brain’s strategy for conserving energy when life seems too demanding, be it work, family, or other responsibilities. It’s your internal system saying, “Let’s pause for a moment.”
“When overwhelm persists, your body can enter a sort of freeze state. You aren’t in panic mode, but neither are you fully engaged—it’s as if your internal batteries are depleted and running on empty. That wall-gazing? It’s an energy-saving tactic that keeps you somewhat alert for when it’s time to re-engage,” points out Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, a therapist in Los Angeles who specializes in anxiety, trauma, and attachment. “If you’re dealing with too much—hello, parenthood!—your nervous system may simply say, ‘Time for a little pause. We’ve got this.’ It’s not perfect, but it serves a protective function.”
Your Wall Staring is Essentially Like Meditation
By now, many have recognized that meditation is a great method for calming racing thoughts. Why? Because it helps direct your attention inward. By consciously focusing on your breath and senses, you signal to your brain that you are safe, thus allowing your nervous system to relax, Groskopf explains. Fortunately, you don’t need to dedicate 20 minutes daily in a lotus position to experience these advantages.
“Anything that brings you back to your body can be beneficial: feeling cold water while washing your hands, listening to a favorite song while lying flat without distractions, or simply allowing yourself to zone out while staring at something immobile. And yes, gazing at the wall absolutely counts,” Groskopf reassures.
“While meditation engages our parasympathetic nervous system through intentional breathing and focus, wall-staring achieves similar effects by giving your mind a break. Both practices can reduce elevated cortisol levels and heart rates. But let’s be honest—only one of them requires absolutely no effort from tired parents,” adds Mitchell.
Experts emphasize the necessity for parents to take time to regulate their nervous systems. Given the constant flow of sensory demands and decisions a parent faces, it’s easy to become overwhelmed. This can lead to worse moods, irritability with loved ones, and even physical discomfort.
“If you need to, then gaze at the wall,” Groskopf advises. “Place your hand on your chest. Relax your shoulders. You’re not wasting time; you’re maintaining the system that ensures everything runs smoothly.”
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